Fuck You

So, I just got in from doing an open mic and I got to tell you, it was the absolute best show I have ever done. I don’t want to get all spiritual and mushy and everything but, honestly speaking, from the heart, those guys (and guyettes) that showed up… saved me. I don’t think they knew how broken I was when I walked through the door and how absolutely complete I felt walking out. I owe them all a bit of gratitude.

On the bus ride to work yesterday, still consumed by the break up, I started to write a little poetic piece about it. On the bus ride over to the open mike I decided to finish. I told everybody that I just wrote the piece just hours prior and that my reading it would be the one and only “showing” of it, it was going directly in the vault afterwards. For me, looking back, I truly gave birth to this thing. I mean, sweated this shit out of me, I had to pull it out of my pores, out of my soul, out of my body, me reading it tonight was almost a kin to an exorcism… it had to get out of me.

The people responded so well to it, I decided to parade him around a little bit; the absolute last nail in the coffin of my last relationship if you will.

Damn! I feel so good right now!

Enjoy!

Fuck You
(c) Breeze Vincinz

The most beautiful conversation we ever had
Was the last conversation we ever had
For three years I’ve asked you if you were sad
You told me things were fine and dandy and
I believed you, what choice did I have
I thought you were the ocean and I was the sand
You were the song, I was the headphones
God was the marrow, we were the bones
We were together in trying to make a home
With the last conversation, I know that I would be alone
After all this time, you tell me something is wrong
A thousand times I’ve asked you to talk to me and NOW you decide to show
I don’t fuck you the way you want me to
You don’t talk to me the way I want you to
You think I can’t get hard like the porn stars do
You want me to be honest about how much I want to make love to you
I’ve been hard enough to fuck other people honestly
Just like you’ve been soft enough to share yourself, just not with me
You beg me to get inside of you endlessly
I beg to let your insides out for the past years three
Keep in mind, this is the most you have ever said to me
You think I’m impotent, I think you’re cowardly
I think I am the lonely boy and you are the unscratched itch
And God pimped our emotions, we are his bitch
When you love someone enough, you should work it out in a cinch
But you stopped calling, I’ve stopped giving a shit
And I never thought it would turn out like this
Me wanting more time, you wanting more dick
Me wanting more heart, you wanting more brain
If we were to give that to each other, would we really gain?
Would my dick and your heart really stop the rain?
Or would another three years go by before you open up again?
And this is not an argument that I’m trying to win
Just trying to figure out your life and why I don’t fit in
It’s amazing how you treat me with the utmost disregard
You put everything in front of me, your family, your rectum, your car
The other boys that want to fuck you at the bar
It all confuses you, you shut down and you don’t call, like that ever got you far
I don’t want to hate you but maybe your heart IS made of tar
Maybe we do fare batter as friends than as lovers in a war
But a friend would call or answer his phone every once in awhile
A friend wouldn’t avoid a friend because he’s looking for something more erectile
Especially when NEITHER friend has been really fucked good in awhile
And yeah I’ve been crying while naked on my bathroom tile
For the past three years you’ve been my occupation and now I got to retire
Though I still love you, I got to say fuck you for giving up on me
Fuck you for abandoning the life we could have shared as we
Fuck you for thinking of only yourself and not my biology
Fuck you for trying to be cool and never sharing yourself with me
Fuck you for giving up first and thinking a martyr you would be
Fuck you for not calling anymore, fuck you for not answering
Fuck you for all the fights you avoid like you always do
Fuck you for thinking the root of our problems is that I’m not fucking you
Fuck you for the DVD’s you never returned that I loaned to you
Fuck me for putting up with you racist heart, your hatred of Mexicans and Jews
Fuck you because I know you’re not man enough to understand what I am going through
Fuck you for I have been fucking since our last conversation, I’m just not fucking you