Why I Could Never Be A Good Stalker
I just became MySpace friends with Diesel Washington. Now I want to label him as pornstar Diesel Washington but after perusing his MySpace page I realize he’s more than that but, you know… the first time I saw this guy he had this white dude in a headlock and was fucking the crap out of him.So I’m looking at his pictures and enjoying his profile and it suddenly occurred to me… when I grow up I want to be Diesel Washington. He’s everything I want to be. Well not
everything, but in the “Second Life” game in my mind, he is most definitely my avatar. He’s tall, he’s muscular, he’s really dark skin
(three things I have never been and always wanted to be), and you know… the porn thing can’t be a bad thing to put on your resume. Seriously, if I was a muscular 6’6” handsome dude with a ten inch penis, I don’t care if I was applying to be
a fry cook at McDonald’s, I would totally attach a .wmv clip of me fucking the crap out of some white dude while I had him in a headlock to the application. This barbarian society of ours is just too patriarchal to pass up an opportunity to cash in on the allure of a penis based orgasm. Hell… I’m thinking about shoving a bratwurst in my underwear at my next performance review to see if it would help with a pay increase.
But it got me thinking, if I could, I would follow this guy everywhere. I would be a Diesel Washington stalker. I think I have that obsessive compulsive/addictive characteristic that could in effect make me a classic “stalker”. I think the only thing that has prevented me from being an official stalker of many people that I admire is the fact that I’m really
really lazy. Like, Tori Amos came into town this year. Everybody who knows me knows that I worship the ground she walks on, she breathes out, I breathe in. When I finally got a chance to meet her in Amoeba Music it was one of the most defining moments of my life, and my natural intention was to stay there, hours upon hours if necessary, to catch a glimpse of
her getting in her car or maybe snip a lock of her hair so I could maybe clone some of the DNA in it to create a homemade Tori or maybe serenade her with one of her songs, singing at the top of my lungs, “I WAS NEVER A CORNFLAKE GIRL EITHER TORI! IT WAS THE BEST SOLUTION!!”

But alas, I was kind of tired and really hungry so I got a Jumbo Jack with cheese and came home.
And now there’s this Diesel guy who I could totally see myself following around like a little puppy if given the opportunity… you know… if I’m not hungry or tired or America’s Next Top Model isn’t on or… Tori doesn’t happen to be in town at the same time.
I could never be a good stalker. I don’t think I have the attention span. Lately for no particular reason I’ve been obsessed
with all things dealing with the Manson Family and the Sharon Tate murders. It was just so senseless, so brutal and so… just… beyond my realm of compassion to feel sympathy for the people who committed those crimes. It was just so horrible. I’ve been watching some interviews of Susan Atkins, one of the women who slaughtered the eight month pregnant Sharon Tate. She is now in her 60’s and is now riddled with terminal brain cancer. She’s been incarcerated since 1971 and her husband/attorney has been trying to get her a “compassionate release” since her physical state is in such disrepair. The California Board of Parole Hearings denied the request meaning that she will more than likely die in prison and I don’t feel altogether bad about that decision. On a more selfish note… I will say that I’m a little pissed that someone who murdered an eight month pregnant woman can get married in jail… twice… and I can’t. But I guess in the “Second Life” game in my mind I would like to talk to her, and the rest of the Manson Family and go, “You know, seriously guys… wouldn’t you have rather just gotten a Jumbo Jack with cheese and went home?”
Labels: Breeze Vincinz, Diesel, Stalker, Washington


At the end of each year, I like to
The year started with me making an effort to take control of my weight. I was never really going to talk about it until I got down to some ridiculously
Obama won which was great but
I shaved my head. I was bored.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Friday, November 14, 2008
I wake up at noon. I go see a friend of mine about doing some collaborative work with him. I get back home at around 3:00 p.m. and pass out again until about thirty minutes ago. It’s 11:25 p.m.
This whole 
After having this conversation with a couple of other friends I discovered that they are also carrying that same level of self hate and they truly just want all the protesting to stop because “the people have spoken.” Well, we’re a minority, at one point the people have “spoken” against women’s right to vote, against Blacks right to vote… if we were to solely listen to the mouths of the majority we would still be in slavery. Just because the votes are in and the people have spoken doesn’t make it right and there is something in me that burns hotter and hotter each day trying to get that across to people, particularly my own brethren who


Today is pretty much the last day of the workshops. There is some ending ceremony tomorrow but all consorted purposes, today was the end of Camelot… and it actually pretty sad.
On our way back trying to find the nearest paved road we accidentally found this little spot where we could park the car and observe the most idyllic view of Lake Tahoe I think humanly possible.
By the way… the Poet Laureate of California